When she arrived at the cliff in the valley, there was no room in her soul for fear, for she knew God had brought her this far and He would still be with her here. And though she was waiting to see what miraculous things He would do, she never let go of His highwind whispers: “I know the plans I have for you.” -Morgan Harper Nichols
It was two short years ago when I boarded a plane and flew to a country that was new to my travels, to an island my ears had never heard of- The Azores. Fiords on the ocean and the richness of the Portuguese culture, my kind of adventure, said the heart.
It was somewhat of a last-minute trip that was thrown together for my big 3-0! Entering a new decade. Saying goodbye to the beautiful chaos of the 20’s and saying hello to what I had heard are some of the best years of a woman’s life. It was a voyage that John and I were so excited about. It’s been a tradition for quite a few years to travel my heart anywhere that it’s never been and to experience a country that’s new to my eyes. To enter into the next year with a fresh outlook on life and a new empathy and understanding of the world.
Looking back, I don’t find it ironic that year, that entering into a new decade would be a different kind of discovery to which would come with a special kind of compassion. Little did I know, this birthday trip would look much different. And sometimes it takes a broken mind and broken spirit, shattered into a million pieces, to actually be put back together the way God had intended all along. Getting to the end of ourselves and letting God restore in His own special way.
I’ve realized in my short 32 years here on earth, that God’s timing is always perfect. That His ways are always better than our ways. And that He always knows what our soul, mind, and body require better than we do. And two years ago on this week, His plan was nothing short of a marvel and a miracle.
Travel plans changed instantly, as my heart saw coming. A week prior to our departure, we moved John to Tennessee to work on Him and it was time to work on me too. That unexpected circumstance left my heart in a million pieces. The aftermath of the hurricane and the what is life supposed to look like now were flooding every part of my being. I genuinely debated even going on the trip. Every part of me wanted to pull the covers over my head and wake up from a bad dream. Everything that was supposed to be wasn’t, and everything that was, wasn’t supposed to be. Sometimes in life, those are our biggest blessings in disguise though, so I’m learning.
A quiet nudge urged me to board the plane on the day we were supposed to be leaving as bad as I didn’t want to go without John. I knew God had planned the trip just as it was supposed to be- with the pain, with the heartache, with the Portugal coast, with it all. Of course, it was not what I had dreamed of for the perfect 30th, but we can never fully know the beauty of His vision in the blueprint that God has over our lives- thank goodness! Sometimes (all the time) His dreams blow ours out of the water. Remember that when life isn’t going as planned!
Last minute, the woman who gave me life, boarded that plane with me. Exactly as God had intended. Who better to have spent it with?!
God began to restore my heart and our lives that week. He started to heal the weak spots and heartaches inside of me that I had kept hidden for a long time. He allowed me to go away to a quiet island, back to simplicity, to regain the very intricacies that life is meant to hold. He allowed me to step away from everything that had choked the goodness out of life and He returned to it the breath of life. God took the chaos that enabled me to not see the beauty, and He put me in a place with lands where the most breathtaking beauty abounded. He allowed me to breath the fresh air and to see the simple things for what they are, as if I had stepped back in time. He gave me a relief in the surrender. He reminded me the week of my 30th of just how present He is. He reminded me that I need to only be still and lean on Him and He will meet me right where I am- in Portugal or in any other place that my feet are planted in the entire world. He inspired my heart to be able to walk back into life with my head held high looking to the only thing that could give me life. And that week, life began to change.
All the while John was being restored and becoming the man God had wanted Him to be, God was doing the same thing for me.
When I look back at the picture taken two years ago, my heart jumps a little and I smile. Because it was something as simple as this- I was broken, but my heart was mending. I was hurting, but I was hopeful. On the edge of a fiord as my eyes twinkled seeing wildflowers growing abundantly, my heart danced and I took the chance at stopping, if even for just a moment, and cherishing it. For treasuring the very beauty that God gave us. I find myself so busy in life sometimes, that I still forget to slow down. I forget to stop and smell the flowers. I forget to be still and see His goodness all around me. But that week taught me something special:
When I was in my most vulnerable place, God taught me my most valuable lessons. The bravest thing you can do is be unafraid to feel.
We are all different, and the uniqueness to each and every human soul is what makes this world so beautiful. The best gift anyone could ever give to me is time in a place untouched to my imagination or existence. And that’s what makes the world special. Because our hearts all beat for something different. I’d rather have a thousand vulnerable seasons that ache and a thousand valuable lessons that come out of that, than no pain at all.
You see, travel has changed me. It has built me in ways that I never imagined. It has humbled me when my heart gets stuck in “me-mode,” when life was never meant to be about “me” at all. It has given me a heart for this world, and it has also given me a brokenness for this world. I have found that in the most vulnerable and heartbroken places to my very own soul is when the greatest breakthrough has happened while traveling. Getting out of my little world and realizing that there is so much more. That the brokenness that I feel is not the only brokenness that is out there, to which I find majority of the time, is tragedy far beyond mine. That His beauty is everywhere- in the eyes of the people who look differently than me and in the love from the people that I can’t even communicate with. That we are all healing in our own certain way. And most importantly that God loves each and every person all over this world the same way that He loves you and me. To look into eyes all around the world and know that, is golden.
It’s funny, you never know the meaning to a moment until it’s gone. And looking back, I see it now. This week, two years ago changed my life. One that was so uncomfortable. One that I didn’t necessarily want to do because of the circumstances- God said, “Trust me on this and go,” and the fruits of it have been abundant. And celebrating my birthday this year I am reminded of His restoration and His promises. They are oh, so sweet!
With all that being said, step outside and watch that sunset until the last bit of pink sinks beneath the horizon. Chase a rainbow through a pasture full of cows. Eat the food you’ve always been afraid to try. Run through the field and pick the wildflowers. Stand on the edge of a fiord and feel the intensity beneath you. Buy the plane ticket you’ve been debating on and travel to somewhere you’ve never seen. Do the thing that scares you the most. When you want to do it the least, that’s when you need to do it the most. This life is but a vapor and we are never guaranteed tomorrow. When God is prompting, even when it’s not comfortable, just say yes. And most importantly- don’t be afraid of the vulnerable, because that’s where the valuable comes from.
Faith For Miracles 
Thank you. This spoke right to my heart!