“What a blessing it is to look around and see pieces of my tear filled prayers scattered all around me.”

What once was a prayer on paper is now a promise fulfilled.

As I sorted through an old desk, a faded note slipped from the pile. It was a prayer I had written years ago, asking God for a baby. The ink was worn, but the longing in those words felt as fresh as the day I wrote them.

I stood there, holding that tear-stained note and just beyond its worn edges were the very answers smiling up at me.

In that quiet moment, I was reminded that the prayers we whisper in faith never go unheard. God had answered in His perfect time, not mine. 

That very prayer now runs through my house with big smiles and sounds of laughter.

Ann Voskamp once said,  “Waiting is just a gift of time in disguise. A time to pray wrapped up in a ribbon of patience because is the Lord ever late?”

Was it my plan to have my first child at 33 years old? Not at all, but, it was God’s and it was His best for me. 

Did I ever doubt and teeter in unbelief that God loved me enough to allow me to have children of my own? 

Of course I did. 

My heart knew truth, but my head often turned me into a doubting Thomas. 

There were days I thought I was being punished for my past. 

There were days I watched the rest of the world become a mom, except me because maybe God had misplaced the greatest desire in my heart. I didn’t think a seat was made for me at that table. 

Those lies ached, but now I see.

Now I see that prayer didn’t change God’s mind, it changed me. 

It changed the way I know God. 

I learned that even if being a mother isn’t what He had for me, that He was still good. 

I learned that strength didn’t grow in comfort, it grew in the chaos of the heartache. 

I learned that waiting can become sacred ground. Ground where trust grows deep roots, if we allow it. 

I learned that waiting can make His word more tangible and the hopelessness can make His promises evident, if we allow it. 

I’ve learned that time doesn’t erase God’s promises, it reveals them.

Hindsight is revelation.

I realize how all of those years, He was preparing me for these two little boys whose names were already written. 

He was preparing me to walk into one of the greatest callings of my life, a mother. 

A part of my boys were already living inside of me waiting for God to say, they are ready now for a time such as this. 

That will hit you like a ton of bricks. 

When I was waiting, God was already weaving.

When I was praying, God had already answered. 

And moments like these where I run across my old worn out prayers, He rocks my world and shows me on this side of heaven that He is faithful. That He heard my cries. That He had already answered even when I doubted. 

And even if He hadn’t, I’ve still seen too much to believe anything other than His goodness. 

As I tucked that old note back into the drawer, I couldn’t help but whisper a quiet “thank You.” What once was a cry of longing has become a testimony of grace. God heard me then, and He hears me now. Every unanswered prayer is still held by the same faithful hands that brought this one to life in His perfect time.

If you’re standing in the middle of “not yet,” I pray my story reminds you that God is faithful in every chapter. The waiting season isn’t punishment, it’s preparation. He’s growing your faith, refining your hope, and writing something beautiful that will one day testify of His goodness. Trust Him with the pages you can’t read yet.