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Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?” -John 11:40

I Remember this day vividly… the day we found out what our sweet miracle baby was going to be. Boy or girl? We didn’t care.. we were just overwhelmed by the gift my body was carrying.

This day was full of excitement. A day We pleaded for in prayer and heart, but never thought we would get.

But, In the deepest parts of me and with raw honesty, it was a season full of doubt too. Wondering if my body could continue to sustain this little life inside of me. I was terrified.

No matter how hard I hit my knees and waged war for peace, it felt fleeting. But I learned that fleeting moments still come with forever lessons. I learned that every day holding this child in my womb was a gift and a miracle no matter the outcome. That through years of pain comes a cherishing heart that NO force can be reckoned with.

I look at this picture from last year… holding up a onesie full of doubt, fear, and raw excitement. And I look at this picture now with this same onesie, filled with the most precious miracle of life and know how good God’s graces are. I know miracles are real. We hold one.

In the big picture, emotions are real and valid. What we feel comes with reason. Our worry and fear are raw. But what is even more real are God’s promises and His faithfulness.

Every time I would begin to fear, He would give me a nugget of hope. A little baby kick, a bout of nausea, a headache, the tickles of Jasper’s hiccups. I welcomed every ray of hope such as those. Who ever loved nausea? I did during this season. That’s what kept me going. Every time I needed that thing to hold onto, He provided..

What I wouldn’t give to take back those moments in my mind of fear and replace it with excitement. To replace the doubt with trust. To replace the hopelessness with the all knowing reality of miracles.

Because today we hold ours. We love ours more than we knew our hearts could love. Forever our miracle. Forever our rainbow baby.

We all have those places in our lives. The ones that hurt. The ones we play tug of war with in our hearts. Know and trust that peace is there to be had. Hope is there where it seems obsolete. And miracles do happen even when you feel like you will never get yours.

Never doubt the desires that God has placed in your heart. Never doubt that miracles still do come true.