How lucky am I having something that makes saying goodbye so hard. -Winnie the Pooh
During the journey of becoming their dog mom and dad and a random phone call, one of the breeders told us, “God told me this dog is supposed to be yours.” We said absolutely not at first. But God kept tugging on our hearts with a yearning. I am so thankful that he was obedient in having ears that listened to the Lord and that we were able to trust what had been revealed. Looking back, God knew all along what we needed, just as He always does. Even when we say we’re not ready, God says, I have prepared you.
Coee and Sterling were two of the most precious gifts to our lives. It was in-opportune timing in the midst of the days that were just beginning to shine out of the darkness that we had walked through. We didn’t know what life held up ahead, but very quickly did Coee and Sterling become one of the biggest pieces of joy of it. They were our first children together. The dogs that walked by our side through recovery and through discovering who we were- as children of God and as a new family. Sterling ran every morning with me as I learned to do life while John was away meeting the man God had called him to be. And to be quite honest, He got me through a lot of dark days that came with mending myself after the storm. Coee and I took on a whole new world together as we moved to Tennessee away from everything that we had both known which came with low nights as well as some of the most beautiful days of discovery and restoration. As time moved slow and we almost lost Coee, he gave me a purpose for weeks in nursing him back to life. We did our quiet time every morning as they surrounded me in the stillness. They kayaked the rivers with us, boated the salty waters of Georgia with us, hunted the North Carolina woods with us. They ran the fields in the evening as we watched the sun crest behind the Tennessee hills and were the best and most annoying little brothers to our oldest two fur children. They stood by us during the desolate days and they shined radiant light into our brighter days. They gave us endless joy and filled our little farmhouse with tremendous life. And most of all, they loved us unconditionally. Aside from anything that we weren’t, they loved us because of what we were.
Today, Coee climbed from the third row, over the luggage, and got as close as he could get to me. He laid his head on my shoulder from the back seat as I felt him breathing in my ear, almost like he knew. That’s where I broke. At 60 pounds, he rode in my lap to his new home in Georgia on the same blanket that we brought him home in. When John pointed that out to me, goodness did that ache. A part of us felt like we were giving up on our children but I know that wasn’t it at all. It wasn’t something we hadn’t ever thought we could or would have been able to do. But sometimes in the weakest moments, is where God provides you with the most strength.
These dogs weren’t just dogs to us, they were a part of us, and they filled more places in our hearts than we knew needed filling. They were our children. I believe that no dog can ever replace another. No dog will ever be the same as the last. They come into certain seasons to walk us through them and now they will continue on their path. Now, God has allowed them to be a blessing to another family and to fill their homes with joy. To create even more memories that will last a lifetime and to love these new families unconditionally. God already knows the very seasons that we will go through and will supply us with the very things to offer us strength to carry us through.
Looking back, we know they were a blessing to us during a special season of discovery and renewal. They are now going on to continue to bless two other precious families for the rest of their seasons and will make memories that will last them a lifetime now as well. As bad as we wanted to turn that car around, God called us to share what we had been blessed with and he prepared the most perfect way for that. These families were so excited, but in all reality, these sweet people have been the greatest blessing to us.
Last Wednesday leading up to this day that I knew was coming I was sitting in bed doing my quiet time, struggling with what I knew we were about to face, and I heard God loud and clear say, “Are you willing to give up Coee and Sterling to the wonderful homes that I’ve provided to help lead, if even just one more person, to eternal life?” And the concept and answer was that simple, “Yes!” Those very words kept playing over and over in my head and in my heart today. I just kept saying yes.
This is the first big step of reality to walking into full time missions and man did it ache. By far, the hardest part to answering that call for full time missions was our furry family, it was them. John looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “Do you think this will be the hardest part of this?” I sure hope so…We were reminded that when God calls you out, he didn’t promise that it would be easy or feel good. But He does promise that He will be there every step of the way and uphold us when we feel like we can’t take another step forward. And He did promise that He would provide. And, He did today. He gave us the strength to put Coee and Sterling in our car and leave our home for them to never return. They were so excited to go for a ride and had no idea that they wouldn’t be coming back, and the hardest part was, we did. He gave us the strength to drive off from them as they wondered why we were leaving. He gave us strength in the heartache in separating them after them being devoted best friends and brothers. He gave us incredible strength in pushing them away when they tried to leave with us. We felt it all, and we let ourselves feel it all. But the sweetest part of it was how we felt God in every moment doing things that apart from Him, we couldn’t have done ourselves. And we felt God’s provisions and preparations in how patient and loving their new families were in empathizing with our pain. Walking alongside of us, helping us through one of the hardest steps we knew we would take. They were and have been angels in this.
Last Sunday I couldn’t hold back tears with what was coming today. John and I were listening to a sermon and they spoke on the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. And when he walked in obedience, God blessed him, and Isaac lived. We were reminded that it’s not a sacrifice because God had blessed us with them and now, He is going to bless another with their unconditional love and life.
This morning in the midst of crying so hard and a struggle to breath. We turned up the music rolling down the highway and just sang praises. Instant peace in the midst. Singing in the middle of the storm, heart be still.
Today as we took one more step forward, we knew God was there every second of it. We know that God blessed us with these homes that were given to us as we met these families on the mission field in Ecuador that couldn’t be more divine and perfect. One of the greatest gifts to us. That’s only God and we are eternally grateful.
A few weeks have passed as I post what I wrote that day…and as I walked the lake shore on this cold December afternoon, I found myself missing them running crazy around me with a contagious joy, but I also smile, because I know their joy is and has been so contagious to others as we have gotten many pictures of their new lives- Hunting, Christmas parades, and plenty of car rides, and they are so, so happy. It was a serene and quiet walk without them, but I felt my Heavenly Father walking right beside me today on that Lake shore holding me tight as He always does. Peace be still.
So even in the hard days, even when it hurts, even when you want to just turn around, we will keep following Him and trusting in His faithfulness. Because today, we felt the freedom when we took that hard step when He called us to do so- even when we didn’t want to, we saw how precious it is. We saw the gifts that He gave us in these families. One of the greatest gifts to this entire journey. We saw how committed He is to our hearts and to the hearts of others. And forever we are grateful.
Hug them tight for us. We will love you forever and always Ocoee River and Sterling Creek.
Faith For Miracles 