If you go to Jesus, He may ask of you far more than you originally planned to give, but He can give you infinitely more than you dared ask or think.” –Timothy Keller

Today is the day that we officially announce to the world that we are preparing to launch into full time missions. Wow, it’s official!

It’s funny to look back and see that all along, God was divinely knitting every single detail of our lives. A web that we couldn’t even see, through the darkness or the light. And now we look back and smile because all along, He was working through us and for us in ways that we could have never dreamed up as our sweetest fairytale. In ways that even on our best days, we still don’t think we deserve. In ways that still make me question, “Are you sure you want us God?” In ways that let me know His grace filled love covers us forever and always. His reveal over our lives has placed a faith in our lives that will carry us forevermore.

“Bread cannot be shared unless broken.”

Life just recently came with a heavy revelation in a prayer that I pray nearly every day, “God break our hearts for what breaks yours.” And He did. That’s the scary thing about bold prayers, because when you ask, you receive. But it’s not always the way that we would envision the receiving. Sometimes we pray and expect God to do so little, when God is equipped to do so much. It may hurt as He rebuilds us into the very person that He brought us into this world to be, but I do know that there is nothing more precious than His ever constant molding over our lives.

When I realized this revelation, I realized that God did break our hearts in the most selfless way possible and gave us a heart that beats to go and be HIS light in this world. He broke our hearts for every single person throughout the nations that live day in and day out without a single ounce of hope. He broke our hearts for every sick child out there that is waiting for a miracle from just one person that can pray blessings over their lives. He broke our hearts for every mother held in captivity to slavery over keeping her family alive. He broke our hearts for every man or woman that has faced addiction or dealt with loving someone through addiction. He broke our hearts for every snotty nosed child that runs and wraps their arms around us craving a love that only our Father can fulfill. He broke our hearts for all of the precious human beings suffering while we live in a place of comfort. He broke our hearts for tear filled eyes with more brokenness than our hearts have even begun to feel. And most of all He broke our hearts for every single lost soul out there, while He left the 99 to chase them down and bring them home. He gave us these hearts, all because, we are broken too. And all of these years, He has given us a new heart to go love on this world the same way that He and others have loved on us. How precious is His reckless love. Where many see brokenness, we see the beauty of renewal.

• He broke the lie that this life was about us and our happiness because we learned that it’s not about us, but about us serving others.
• He broke the pursuit for comfort and happiness, because it’s not about being a comfortable and a happy Christian but a joyful disciple to the world no matter where you are placed and based.
• He broke the desire for perfection and fleeting joys, because this place is only temporary, full of afflictions, but our treasures are stored up in a place that is so much more perfect than what false perfection looks like here on this earth.
• He broke the fleshly will to fulfill our own desires and made them into His desires, and our ways to be molded into His ways.

So many have said to us, “Wow, it’s such a sacrifice with you guys walking into missions.” But to us, it’s not a sacrifice. Because every single blessing here on earth, He has given us. He has loaned to us temporarily. He has given us life, and truth be told, that is the greatest blessing in itself- because there are many days we look back and know that we should have never made it through. He has given us restoration. He has given us freedom. He has given us a story. The least we can do is to give back and love on people just the way He did for us. Everyone has a story and a position that you are called to, and ours is full time missions in Ecuador. When we look at the big picture, we’ve learned to make it simple, He gave His life for us, why wouldn’t we give Him ours? He has been so, so good to us.

How it all began…

Since I was a little girl, through all of the lost and loneliness, I forever heard a whisper, “Just keep walking, I’m preparing your heart and taking you somewhere that I have prepared for you.” And for 31 years there has been a quiet hope inside of me that has waited for that moment knowing that everywhere I had been was only temporary. It was something inside of me that kept me going, even on my darkest days and throughout my darkest seasons I knew that every tear was building me for that place that I trusted He was taking me. July 25th, 2015, when I stepped foot on that Ecuador soil, I came face to face with what God had been preparing me for. When I felt that heart beat inside of me, I recognized a stillness and heard a whisper saying, “you have arrived.”

I fell in love with every part of missions that week- The people, Jeanette and Carlos, the pure joy and love from those who had so little, the servanthood. I realized I didn’t fall in love with the glorious part of missions, but I fell in love with the part that shatters your heart into pieces. The parts that not everyone talks about. The parts that we like to just shove under a rug and go back to living the way we comfortably do. Revelations came with a realization and conviction of the world that I was going back home to while the rest of the world was hopeless and broken. I remember getting in my hot shower back home for the first time and just sobbing. Something in me changed that week. He broke my heart for what broke His and He gave me eyes to see it all differently, all at once.

Fast forward to a year later. John and I started dating. He was in my house for the first time and saw a picture of Jeanette, Carlos, and I and looked at me and said, “How in the world do you know Carlos?” And I looked back at him and said, “How do YOU know Carlos??”

Carlos lived four doors down from John when he was growing up and held a very special place in his heart. John left for college and came home and him and Jeanette were gone. House, cars, them.. Everything! And in that moment, John finally figured out where Carlos had gone and all at once we realized we both had a huge place in our hearts for a couple that we had met thousands of miles apart in different countries, right there in our little coastal town.

Years later after our wedding as we moved to Tennessee for full time ministry we began to both get that desire to go serve with Jeanette and Carlos for a short term trip. We started talking to them and figuring out dates and something happened. We can’t tell you what it was or what came over us, but it was strong and it was heavy. I’ve never experienced anything like that. It was a desire, not a desire for short term missions, but for full time missions. John and I both cried for three days. We couldn’t talk about it. We knew exactly where the Lord was calling us and the opportunity that had opened up in His perfect timing but the reality of it would take our breath away. That meant leaving our families behind and our furry children. Leaving our comfort zone and the new life that we had just built here in Tennessee and we were so happy. But when God calls you out, it’s better to be obedient in His will, than disobedient out of His will.

We spent every day that we continued to face fervent in prayer, we fasted, we sought wise counsel. We spent nearly five weeks in Ecuador over the next few months seeking His will over our lives and drawing near to Him to better understand where and what He was calling us out to. We’ve sat quiet in His presence. We prayed for Him to shut the door if it wasn’t right and we let go of the door handle, but He only kept opening it up farther. We asked and He has revealed. We’ve cried and He has held us. We’ve gone through moments of doubt and He has confirmed. We have been weak and He has sustained us. We’ve asked, “why us?” and He reminds us that He equips the called, He doesn’t call the equipped. We’ve walked forward and He has continued to hold our hand every step of the way. We’ve journaled day in and day out so that we never forget His glory and His forever faithfulness in this. The moments that have happened since the call was placed over our lives have been so divine that most would never believe.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “this is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

When we moved to Tennessee, we took a huge leap of faith and stepped out of the boat just like Paul. We look back now and know that God was only preparing us for what He was really calling us into. Giving us stepping stones to a stronger faith where we would trust HIM fully when He said, “It’s time, follow me.”

Through our seasons of brokenness and walking into the beautiful redemption and light, we both knew that God was leading us somewhere but we didn’t know where. And Jeanette explained it where we could put those feelings to words… We were walking through life with our hands held out wide, blindly, and we just kept saying yes. Yes Lord, here we are. Use us, send us. We are yours.

So, you never know where God may call you out to. When you pray bold prayers, be careful, the ways He may answer them may not be the ways that you expected at all. His ways are not our ways, thank goodness! His plans are always greater than ours and He DOES work all things together for His glory. Learn to know and love Him in the valleys because it’s promised that we will know and love Him on the mountain tops one day.

“For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” Habakkuk 1:5

For those of you who know our story, in a million years, I could have never dreamed of this position that we are in today. He told me in the midst of the tunnel of chaos that we endured, “You have no idea what I’m doing, but some day you will.” And our first trip to serve in Ecuador together, I knew that was the moment we had been waiting for.

“Next time you feel unqualified to be used by God remember this, He tends to recruit from the pit, not the pedestal.”

With our whole hearts, we want to reiterate to those of you reading this, believing the lies of the enemy that your past is too dark, or your story is too messy- YOU are the one God wants. No matter what you’ve done, come home. You are set apart and chosen. Keep pressing in because one day you will look back and say, “This is exactly why God put me here.” And remember, where the world sees failure, God sees future.

As we walk into this next season, we ask you to join us on this journey and stand beside us as warriors for His kingdom- hand in hand, heart in heart. We need people fervently praying with us and for us. People praying for the lost that God will lead us to, for the safety that we will need, for the organization to grow with God’s visions and not our own, for the community to be transformed for the sake of Christ, for life change of the American teams coming to work alongside of us in sharing His light among the nations. And most importantly, for God’s will to be done and not our own. That we have eyes and ears that see and hear as He does. That we have a heart that loves as He does where they experience a love like never before.

We also ask you to consider joining us financially. If your heart may lead and God may prompt you, we ask for you to help us in this journey through our giving website. This is the hardest part of it all for us but we cannot do this without your help and your donations. We need you and we want you to stand beside us and be a part of this mission and journey with us. Help us be the hands and feet of Jesus!

We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for standing by our sides and for believing in us. We know we are blessed, not because we were perfect, but because of His perfect grace in us. From ashes to beauty…

This is our restoration story.

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