It was a day that I Ieast expected as we never can fully see what glory is ahead, living in closeness to Christ. Just when we think He has brought us to the top and has fulfilled the very things that WE think He needs to, He says I am not finished with you yet because there is more mercies that I want for you. In the most unexpected and magnificent ways- we open up our hearts.
4 years ago, in this very room overlooking the Pacific ocean, Carlos and Jeanette wrapped their arms around me and prayed a bold prayed over me as I rededicated my life. Some call it rededicating, but it is a true calling and desire to turn your whole life over to Christ. To not just live lukewarm, but to lay it all down for the one that gave His life for us. It is that true moment of salvation.
The last year and a half it has been a desire on my heart to have Carlos baptize me here in the ocean in that very place where my life changed forever. And it’s been an even deeper desire as we have prepared our hearts for this trip. I prayed and cried out to God in the midst of the preparation that if it was His desire and will in this time, that He would reveal that to my heart and He did just that.
I was one of those people who had already been baptized as a young girl in our little baptist church after I got saved. Being baptized again is a controversy to many but I know in my heart that I did it the first time because I wanted to make my family proud, as if they didn’t love me enough already. After a realization years later, the honest reality is that I did it for everyone else- Not for God and myself, the one that truly matters. And I wanted to make it right. I wanted to be washed in that water, just Him and I. To come out new and whole again. And He gave me that life changing opportunity on this special day.
Yesterday as the team was preparing to leave, one of the girls asked if Carlos would baptize her in the ocean. And the warfare began in my heart as God started prompting me to step forward- I didn’t want to take from her moment. I didn’t want it to be too much on Carlos’ back. I don’t like to be the center of attention. Wondering what everyone would think about me getting baptized at 31 years old. But you see the pattern here- I was still worrying about everyone else and not the fact that God was giving me the opportunity to walk into with Him. That very thing I had prayed for, He gave to me.
Just as I stood by John and spoke truth into his life on his day of baptism, so did he with me. He held me tight and began to speak truth- bold truth into my life as I was contemplating and waring with this decision. My heart knew what God was calling me to do and so did John. And just as our lives have taught us the last 2 years. I had to step just one more step out of that boat and follow him.
With a man who could barely walk, Carlos said yes when I asked with tears in his eyes- without one hesitation or doubt. Just as God calls us to do. He didn’t say it would be easy, but He said to follow Him. John held him and he held me as the three of us walked out into that ocean as the maker of creation held the three of us tightly in His arms. His presence surrounded us and it was so beautifully evident. The Holy Spirit filled our souls. Carlos asked me to raise my hands to the Heavens and speak to my father in the most intimate of moments to my life. Filled with an overwhelming sense of Him- I never wanted to leave that presence of His. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wrench like me. Be still my rushing heart.
Carlos, John, and my Heavenly Father submerged me into the waters of the Pacific Ocean and raised me up again. Clean and more whole than I have ever been in my entire 31 years. Holding me like a child in their arms, a spirit anew. The one who owes me nothing, gave me all.
There were three of us washed clean in that ocean this week, and that in itself shows that His love for us surpasses anything that we plan and understand for ourselves.
I find it funny that 4 years ago, I thought I was going on a mission trip to help and serve others. But in the truthfulness of it all. God began the building of a foundation in my heart and under my steps that would begin to carry me and lead my footsteps for the rest of my days. One that He has built on since. And this trip with the same desires and yearning to serve others- He put even more roots down in this place. With heavy hearts and a lot of joyful tears, we know that God is doing big things. That what He planted 4 years ago, are fruits that are truly just beginning to bear
sweetness.
The promises of His faithfulness are evident every day, but in His perfect timing, the desires of our hearts are beginning to merge and join into the most beautiful harmony that I have ever felt to my existence. I thank God for this opportunity and for Sarah’s boldness to step out first.
Thank you God for loving me, and for choosing me, forever and always.
Faith For Miracles 