To the Fatherless Daughters

Mama didn’t raise a victim… 

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I am a product of years of struggle and lessons learned from a daddy who gave me no choice. Absent father syndrome? Does it exist? I suppose. But I will not allow it to live within me. Thank you to the man who created me and chose to walk out on my life. You have forever made me stronger than I could have ever imagined.

Life was never healthy from what I’ve been told before I came along with my mom and dad. Mom was the healthy one, my dad… not so much.

Daddy’s little princess at 4 years old had to face the reality that the last time he hugged me goodbye at the Dairy Queen on 290 would be the last time I would ever see him. I had no idea he would decide to step out of our lives forever. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t want me or my little brother anymore. I clear as day remember standing in my bedroom with crocodile tears streaming down my face in pain like you wouldn’t believe, blaming him not wanting me on my dear mother at the ripe age of 4 and am still asking forgiveness to this day for that. She was my angel; he was just a painful stepping stone to my story. He up and left and never looked back.  I am thankful for the day that my father made that decision 24 years ago to never look back. I am thankful that he was man enough to step out when he realized he couldn’t be the dad that he wanted to be. He caused less harm out of my life than in it.

What, what did my father abandoning me teach me?

  1. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Life is but a vapor. At any moment of any day, your world can fall apart. And happy endings sometimes don’t last forever. Therefore, you must always be able to find the strength within yourself to overcome life’s trials. They will happen often and when you least expect them. Cherish people and embrace them while they are here with you. At the young age of 4, I still think I would have hugged my daddy a little tighter the last time he dropped me off for forever.
  2. Just because your father didn’t love you enough to stay, it doesn’t mean that people will always hurt you. Sometimes it will feel as if everyone will leave you because of your father setting that precedent, but that’s the furthest from the truth. Life is full of people who come into your life for a reason and a season. They have their purpose in your life, then move on to fulfill their next task in his greater plan. Everyone gets hurt and abandoned, not just us. The moment you realize your father leaving doesn’t set the tone for your life, but rather, that everyone goes through the same kind of loss as some point, you will stop feeling so alone in the world. You can still find a way to believe in the good people. Embrace your vulnerability and open your heart. For if you don’t, you will miss out on some of life’s greatest blessings.
  3. Your ability to adapt will be outstanding. You have been through hell and back and you have faced trials growing up as a little girl without a father that many have never had to experience. You’ve felt unloved, dealt with abandonment, made bad choices, and endlessly questioned life and what your true purpose is. You will eventually stop caring what others think and you will grow into the beautiful woman that God created you to be. You will have no fear of starting over because you have been strong when that was the only choice you had. You learned to stand up for yourself. You will use the trials as fuel to make yourself a better version of the person you were yesterday. You are a fighter!
  4. You will be a better person for experiencing all of this. It’s only after putting our hands on the hot stove as a child that we learn not to repeat it. You will become the person people can rely on because you won’t abandon anyone like you were because you know the pain all too well. You understand life a little deeper. You will be sought out for advice by everyone in your life because you’ve lived through enough to see situations with clarity. You will have better relationships because you are loyal and hungry to share the love you couldn’t transfer to your father, and even better than that you won’t settle for less than you deserve. You will make it a point to have extremely strong family dynamics because you know the pain that comes from not having that.
  5. Most important of all, is the realization that you have had a Heavenly father the whole time. You will learn to lean on him more and more throughout life. I didn’t come to the epiphany until my mid 20’s, and it changed my life. Even when my earthly father didn’t love me, my Heavenly Father sure did! He had been telling me the whole time… “Hey, I’m right here! I am your Father.” He is a Father to the Fatherless says Psalm 58:5-6, and goodness do I love my Father!

Embrace the lessons you grew strong in without having your father by your side. I was talking to a friend recently and expressed how I was thankful for my father, for without him I would not be here nor would I be the strong woman that I am today. And they said something I will never forget, “Chelsea, you are not strong because your dad made you strong, you are strong because YOU made you strong!” You have a choice of how you take your “daddy issues.” Be a shining example of how pain and loss make your stronger.

I will forever cherish the 4 pictures that I have with my daddy and the handful of memories that I will always cling tightly to. That chubby, brown-headed, green-eyed girl will always be a daddy’s girl for what it’s worth. I forgave him a long time ago, and if you ever read this dad, know that your little girl has forgiven you and that I hope one day you can forgive yourself. Know that for every birthday that you missed, God supplied people who have made every occasion without you special for the last 27 years. Know that there isn’t a Father’s Day that I don’t think about you. Know that because of you choosing not to be in my life, I chose to look to God for what you couldn’t supply to me. Know that without your strength to lean on, I learned where my strength comes from. Know that without you to protect me, I learned to protect myself and to fight for every ounce of the very things that I believe in. Know that you walked away from something wonderful, momma did a pretty darn good job raising us! I think you’d be pretty proud of us. I lack nothing. My family are tremendous human beings and have graced my life with more than I could ever have imagined. And mom, she is the most beautiful, hilarious, respectable woman and it has been a true blessing to be raised by her. Because of your absence, she was determined to be a strong presence in my life. Understandably, I mirror her in many ways. There is nobody in this world that I would rather be compared to. I am stronger because of you, and I am the woman I am today because of you. Thank you!

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The McLeod's

Welcome to our blog! We’re glad you stopped by and we hope you come back and visit. We want you to be a part of our journey! We are John and Chelsea McLeod. Best friends who are embracing the most precious gift of marriage and life. On the way to be full time missionaries and currently living a life mentoring those broken by addiction from both sides of the pain- loved ones and those struggling with addiction. Here you will find our recorded histories of life, love, struggles, and the journeys that encompass our wanderlust spirits all with an unfailing love for God and His ever so perfect redemption and grace over our lives. Here lies a safe place where our minds wander off into the deepest places with documentation to never be erased. We don’t want our memories to fall between the cracks somewhere, so we write. We don’t want to forget how far God has brought us, so we make records that will prayerfully live on for generations and give others hope who have lost theirs. We met in the most divine of appointments thousands of miles apart that only God could orchestrate. Had our first date watching a fiery sunset go down over the Georgia coast, and ultimately fell in love over kindred spirits that beat for where and what God passionately filled our hearts with. Hindsight, and years later, we can see that God had big plans all along that we couldn’t see. Through our broken pasts, He was preparing us for each other and a future of redemption and testimony. {{{{Everyone has a story and this is ours:}}}}} He’s a Georgia boy, she’s a Carolina girl. ----Hi, I’m Chelsea!---- I’m a native Carolina girl who loves to explore anywhere I’ve never been. An old soul and an extroverted-introvert with a deep heart that overflows with passion and a hunger for God to use me to change this world for the better. Mysterious and meek to the eye, and particularly passionate for the very things that set my heart on fire, especially the things and people that my heart beats for. I get filled up in the untouched outdoors where I can always see and feel His splendor. I am a Master cosmetologist by trade with a BA in Social Work and Counseling. These which intermix daily. I absolutely love the career that God has placed me in and daily, it allows me to love on people all around me. If I can make one person smile a day, my heart holds a fullness that keeps me coming back for more. I believe in forgiveness and miracles because I’ve witnessed them both. I don’t want my life to be about what I accomplished but what God accomplished through me. To me, I’ve learned that in life there is good and bad, right and wrong, excuses and no excuses. But alongside of these very things is engulfed with a ton of grace, growth, and redemption. I don’t ever want to pay the cost of not following my heart, by spending the rest of my life wishing I had. ----Hi, I’m John!---- I’m a born and bred Georgia boy where my blood runs strong with salt water. I was born and raised on the coast where everything I did was engulfed with water and the outdoors. I’m a bold soul with a gentle spirit who loves to help others in any way that I can to believe in themselves and God’s plan over their lives. By trade I hold the title of professional hunter and fisher with a 100 ton captain’s license. What started in Georgia took me out to Alaska where I found my career there, then south Florida and the open blue water. I’ve seen a lot and experienced a lot of God’s beauty and I will be forever grateful for that. Today I’ve taken on the title of “Fisher of men.” After enduring a wearisome season of addiction, God called me to use my pain to help others in addiction ministry and it has become one of the greatest joys of my life. It’s what I live for in showing people they can overcome something that most think they can’t. Offering hope where there is none. Testifying that something they always thought they would be, is only a season that God is ready and wants to use. Where Chelsea serves alongside me pouring into the loved ones. It’s where my passion is, it’s where we love to help others find freedom the same way we did. Today, Chelsea and I are grateful for our struggles because we know that what the enemy meant for evil, God used for good. Here we will write and share. Not to glorify us, but to glorify Him and what He is doing in our lives. The magnificent ways that He is moving and the unfathomable circumstances that He has and will bless us with. All glory goes to Him. We hope you enjoy!!

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