I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Timothy 4:7

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. In this case, that beautiful destination was heaven. God sure did receive two beautiful angels this week. I never like to complain, but I must say this week has been a little tough on the heart. I’ve tried to smile through the tears, but sometimes they just flow. Tough on the heart, but a celebration of life that these two sweet souls are healed and singing and dancing again. I love them, but God loved them more.

Lyndsie was one beautiful angel that went home to be with the Lord this week. I’ve never met someone quite like her. She was a little bit younger than myself, but she is one person that I have always looked up to. She was always a true example of what I wanted to replicate my life after. When I think about a proverbs 31 woman, she is who I think of. She was beautiful, absolutely stunning. But she wasn’t just beautiful on the outside, her heart was one of the spirit. She had a beautiful little family and lived for the Lord every day of her life. Lyndsie, her husband Daniel and their two young children have been an inspiration to so many as they have walked this journey faithfully with the Lord. They are a true example of what a Godly marriage looks like, and what it means for a family to fully rely upon the Lord. Lyndsie had fought a battle with cancer since she was 18. We prayed for the Lord to heal her, and oh did he heal her. Better than we could have asked for. She is singing and dancing praises. She is no longer in pain and no longer fighting. From an earthly standpoint, it leaves your heart aching. I have cried more tears than I would like to mention, especially for Daniel and her precious children. But to know that she is in God’s safe hands at last makes me happy. God healed her and took her home. Lyndsie left a legacy that has touched more lives than we can even begin to imagine, and that legacy will live on forever. God always brings good out of suffering. Sometimes you wonder why does stuff like this happen to the best people? God has a big plan and God has done amazing things through her sometimes all too bitter and beautiful story, and that’s exactly what Lyndsie would want. She will be deeply missed, but we will celebrate knowing that we will see her soon!

Ms. Avant was the second beautiful angel that God received this weekend. She was my great grandmother. At the ripe age of 93, she went home to be with the Lord. Sharp as a tack and funny as all get out. I was blessed to be able to spend some time with her last summer, and let me tell you how thankful I am that I didn’t let my own selfish needs get in the way of that. It was a road trip with my grandparents and I. I clearly remember us cutting up fresh watermelon in the kitchen that we had gotten from a little stand on the side of the road on the way there and the good smell that flooded the house of summertime. Ms. Avant was so excited, she loved watermelon. I remember how peaceful and quite the house was. And I remember how frail she looked after it having been a while since I had seen her. From a kid’s perspective I didn’t pay great attention to detail years ago, I still don’t sometimes. But I remember vividly taking note of everything about her that day. I enjoyed every second that I got to spend in her presence. I had a feeling that would be the last time I would get to see her, and I was right. I remember sitting in the recliner in her room rocking and conversing with her in unbelief at how sharp her mind still was. She couldn’t get around well, but that didn’t stop her. When someone passes, all of the memories come flooding back that you shared together and the wish that you would have reached out more. I will be honest, that is what I have struggled with since getting the call. The brightest memory for me was the two dollar bills that she gave everyone every year at Christmas simply because it was a ritual that was special from her. As sentimental as I am, I’m pretty positive that I still have a couple of my two dollar bills somewhere in the very envelope that they came in that she addressed to each one of us and handed out. You know what makes my heart happy about this heartbreaking situation? That she is once again reunited with Richard (my grandfather, her son) in heaven. I think about him daily, and I still miss him like crazy. I can’t imagine the pain felt for Ms. Avant after losing a son before herself. I’ve always heard that’s the worst pain you can imagine is losing a child before yourself. But she doesn’t have to miss him anymore. They are together again for eternity.

I like to say I live more on the positive end of life. I am also guilty of smiling through tears and not always showing the extent of my struggles or pain. Megan always has to remind me that it’s ok to not be ok sometimes. As Perry would finish that off, “but it’s not ok to stay that way!” I’m always trying to be everyone else’s hero. I don’t like to complain, and I don’t like to worry, and I don’t like to hurt, but this week has been a tough one to say the least. I have felt a mix of all of those emotions that I would rather not have. There is a lot in life right now that is all in God’s hands that I have no control over. That in itself is hard for me. But I know that God has it under control, and that he has a better plan for me than what I could ever have for myself. I have to remember that my hardest days are a part of so much more and a part of something so much bigger. I have to remind myself to let go like I learned in Ecuador. It’s not my life, it’s his. I’ve taken extra opportunities to connect with God in every way possible. Long 5 am runs when I couldn’t sleep this week and lengthy trail runs with the sun shining down are a good way to embrace life with a restless heart. God soothes my aching soul when I need it most. My heart was anxious and the words “under his wings” came to mind. He always has us wrapped up tight under his wings, still letting me blossom for his greater glory.