I can’t believe it, our last full day has come and is winding down. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been emotional today at the thought of leaving this place and these people who have made forever imprints on my heart. Today was our free day. I had mixed feelings about that in the beginning. Am I tired? You have no idea. Late nights, early mornings, and non-stop going makes for one worn out person. But I don’t want to stop. I wanted a free day to see God’s beauty here, but I also wanted to hug those children a little tighter one more time, and I wanted to see those smiles and hear the sound of their laughter a little more. I wanted to hug the sweet parents one more time and see their eyes light up. I wanted to play with the dogs that have become part of us this week. It makes me cry at the thought of these families once we are gone. Once summer has come and gone, the groups coming to visit will dwindle until next summer. Who is going to love on them every day and let them color pretty pictures and show them God’s love? But I trust in God’s plan, and I know he will show them his incredible and vast love that he has for them just like he does for us. God will continue to show us in the U.S. and here in Ecuador that he loves us and will take care of us.

Today on our free day we took a boat out to a little rock island and watched whales and went snorkeling. It was absolutely amazing. As much as I have traveled, I have never had the treat of seeing a whale in person besides SeaWorld. It was unquestionably one of the loveliest things I have ever seen. They were huge! The kid’s faces when we first saw them were priceless! It was another example of God’s majestic creation right there at the tip of our fingers. I always hear God so clearly in the nature, and today was a fine example of that. I sat at the back of the boat and randomly prayed for God to let me see a whale back there. About 2 minutes after I had said my little prayer, one jumped at the front and I completely missed it. I heard loud and clear at that very moment that “sometimes where you are looking is not where I want you to be looking, sometimes I want you to look the other direction to where I am leading. Wait for me.” It was incredible and so bold. I don’t think I have ever had something called out so clear to me, but it was loud and clear. I am guilty of having my own agenda sometimes. I plan out my own life, and the majority of the time it’s not where God wants me to look or go. He doesn’t want me to follow my visions, he wants me to follow his.

We went into Montanita tonight for our play night which is known as a surf town. There is a lot of pot and surfers to be completely blunt (no pun intended!) They told us to not accept any brownies offered to us. It was a sight, but it was pretty awesome. There were so many people from so many different walks of life. We ate at this delicious pizza place of all things. The ambiance was incredible. It was outdoors, lights were strung throughout the trees, a cool breeze, and 2 men playing their guitars and singing. We put the tables together and enjoyed our “last supper.” As the music played, everyone got up and danced and laughed. What a special night.

After dinner we walked around and shopped a little. We wound up at this bakery. As Hannah, Christian, and I were standing there, we saw a dog lying by the trash can. To go into detail about this dog would be wrong, I wouldn’t want to portray that image again. I had bought a cookie at the bakery, and had started eating it but couldn’t help but feel so selfish as I’ve had dinner and a little bit of cookie as the dog sits here starving. Rule number 3 is absolutely NO feeding the dogs. Well, sometimes life calls for breaking the rules. Especially when it comes to animals and myself. I honestly didn’t care at that point by the state that he was in. I walked up to the trash can and put it down beside it. He scarfed it down. I went to buy more, but the bus came so hopefully he will be there tomorrow and we can feed him a little more. I can’t change his life forever, but I can for a couple of days. With that being said, Hannah and I couldn’t hold back the tears. It’s so hard to wrap my head around the treatment of dogs. They are God’s creation also. Dogs are such special creatures and that has been one of the hardest things being here is seeing all of the emaciated and disease ridden dogs that I can’t do anything about.

We did our God sightings as soon as we got back from the house. Of course I was already emotional from the dog situation. It was a special God sighting night because of it being our last. I truly am going to miss this intimate time of the sweet sound of a guitar and the voices of each of us worshiping the Lord and pouring our hearts out with each other. Everybody told their story about the week, what they got out of it, how it helped them, and what they saw in other people. Casar spoke and he radiates God’s heart. I cried the whole time. Hannah spoke about her and Christian being called to be in Ecuador full time and their fears. It’s so scary, but it’s what the Lord is calling them to do. Like Janette said yesterday, being a missionary is one of the hardest things God will ever call you to do, but it is the most rewarding. Hannah spoke again after someone else went and thanked me for stepping up and being a leader and opening up. The others spoke up and I absolutely lost it. Sometimes I feel lost, and sometimes I feel as if I don’t know what I am doing. This is a new adventure for me, so to hear them tell me that just broke me in a healing manner. You travel half way across the world with this group of people you have only met a few times, and it has amazed me at how God creates family out of strangers. I could barely speak, but I told the teens how proud I was of them. At the age of 17 to fly to Ecuador and pour their hearts out serving is absolutely incredible. I urged them to stay on this path. They are at such a vulnerable age and I remember the pressure that you are put under, and it defines which direction their lives will go in. I just want to wrap them up and take care of all of them. I’m so thankful that God put them in my life, and I pray that he will continue to keep us in each other’s lives. Carlos stood up and spoke after me. It was absolutely beautiful. He urged us to take these kids with us in our hearts. He said “those kids need you” with tears in his eyes. And they do, they needed our love this week and they need our prayers from here on out. As much as I hate to leave them, knowing that they are being prayed for everyday and knowing that Janette and Carlos are doing wonderful things here makes my heart feel at peace.

Tonight, Friday July 31, 2015, I stepped out and rededicated my life to Christ. Ashley, Anna, and I did. I asked God to rip my heart wide open this week and he has. I asked him to break my heart for what breaks his and to let me love like he does, and he has. I have felt him in everyday, throughout every prayer, and within every touch. I want to serve him more. I don’t want to stop when I come home from Ecuador, I want to continue to serve wherever he calls me, and to follow without hesitation. God has a special purpose for each and every one of us that are here together on this trip, and I am anxious to continue to watch it unfold for his greater glory. Janette just held me after our prayer tonight, she looked in my eyes and said “you are absolutely precious, I want you to know that and I want you to believe that.” She said everyone looks at how sweet and beautiful you are but yourself. I’m the first to tell you how hard I am on myself, way too hard. To hear this group lift each other up throughout the week and to hear Janette’s words has changed my life. I know God created me for a purpose and with the gentle soul that he gave me, and that is to serve him and his creation. I don’t want to stop here, I want to keep going. This week has been unbelievable, words can’t even begin to describe the measure of how this has changed my life. Thank you Lord from the bottom of my heart.